Vegetarians

These kinds of people annoy the unholy hell out of me, because they spend all their time preaching to us meat-eating heathens that we're basically committing an affront to the Lord by eating meat. Never mind the fact that people slaughtered animals to sacrifice to Him, and people ate meat at Passover. I don't believe in the Bible it says anything at all about "thou shalt not eat meat". Never mind that meat has certain vitamins and minerals that we don't get in veggies. They whine and complain that we as meat eaters, are doing what equates to committing murder on the furry yet delicious "people", attempting to crucify any and all meat-eaters.

Exhibit A:



What your typical grass-eater sees him/herself as...

Usually super-skinny and malnourished looking, they look like death warmed over. You know, like those African kids they show on all those Christian Children's Fund commercials? Funny thing is that many of them are fat asses too. Don't even try to tell me your ass got that damn big just by grazing out in the field with all the other fellow future hamburgers either!

Exhibit B:



The true definition of what a vegetarian is

Man how they do try to convince you you're wrong and they're right! Saying things like "don't you wanna live longer?" Not if I have to live like you! Besides, what's so good about living longer if everyone you love dies before you of clogged arteries and a stomach full of pure, unbridled happiness? Let me live my life like I want to and you won't end up on my dinner plate, ya feel me?

Exhibit C:



"Don't eat me! That'd be baaaaaaad!!!"

Editor's Sidenote: Since this blog posting, I have found proof that being a vegetarian isn't "better" than being a meat eater. Click here for the article...

While you're bitching about what I'm eating, what about the rights of my front lawn? Don't blades of grass deserve to be protected too? just because they can't scream in pain or fight back, doesn't mean that they don't feel pain too, you feel me?

The funny thing is as much as they don't like eating meat, many of them will lick and suck and savor your man-meat like they've been eating it for years! Well, I guess that would be the definition of the word "irony"...