Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Church Folks

This is something I as well as many others encounter on a weekly (or as close to weekly as possible) basis. It's worth noting that people in the Church are some of the worst on the planet, because many of them feel that they can:
  • Say whatever they want, anytime (called "being honest") they want in the name of "truth"
  • Get into other peoples' business while throwing in their 2 cents worth in there, because they care about them so much
  • Gossip about other folks in their pursuit of the "true story"
  • Look down their noses in judgment at others, taking time daily to remind other folks of past sins (condemning the person) to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings
But also many of these people pretty much walk around with a strong sense of superiority over others, and don't hesitate to let you know you're less than they and are more in need in prayer than they are.

Exhibit A:

What some Christians act like...

The funny thing about these folks is that though they can tell you (amazingly little) about their sins, they appear to have the authority to sentence you to Hell and act like God will never forgive you for yours when you open up to them in confidence that they won't judge you! Like all the things you do to try to make amends for any transgressions is for nothing because since they don't forgive you, then God won't either. Don't even bother mentioning that last week, you saw them sinning their now-perfect soul out at that party...

Exhibit B:

What you might find your typical faithful church goer doing a few hours before church starts

The other week, after I had sent someone a friends request on Tagged, she responded that while she'd love to accept my friends' request, she couldn't because my page had "pornography" on it!

Exhibit C:

Didn't you know? Pictures of Holly leaves is the new porn!

Funny thing about it is that she had up as her main picture a pic of herself with her cleavage all out but for some reason, I'm the one with porn all over my page! I was gonna show you what I mean, but she changed her pic, and as usual, her page was set to private. I was gonna let it pass, but I decided to pursue it after seeing things church-going folks say and do to other folks and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm sure that God's glad to have people like her to send folks like me to Hell for Him so He doesn't have to have the Apocalypse, the Battle of Armageddon, and that whole thing about casting Satan into the bottomless pit!

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Peoples' (Bad, Loud, Cryin' Ass) Kids II

Ok, I know I've been over this one before, but after much delay, I felt I had to touch on it one more time: peoples' bad, loud, spoiled-ass kids! So last Saturday morning, I was out and about, trying to pay bills and still trying to land that oh-so-elusive job and thusly, a road back to independence, when I went to the bank and there was this long-ass line...and it was close to closing time. I had to get this money in the bank, so needless to say, I was gonna wait in that line! Anyway, there was this guy in the line with his son. This kid would not shut the hell up about "Why do we have to wait so long", and "I wanna go to the car, NOW daddy!", you know, the usual kid stuff. Oh, and the boy's father (maybe he was, maybe he wasn't) did absolutely nothing but say, "we'll be going soon, son", and as I tried to fill out my account ticket, I felt little flashes of rage surge through my body every few seconds every time the kid repeated his demand. Let me cover these 2 in order if I may...

Firstly, why we have to wait so long. Ok, shut up, kid. Seriously. Do you think that saying "I wanna go home, daddy" over and over again will make it happen faster? The tellers up front can only handle one person's account need at any given time, so they don't mess it up somehow. The only thing that's happening here is everyone within earshot is becoming more and more annoyed by your "non shut-the-hell-uppness" (yeah, I just made it up; don't steal it!) every time it's said, but I'm sure he wouldn't understand all this, but whatever... For people not in the know, 10-15 mins. in adult time is like 12-13 years in kid time, and any parent that tries to make their kids wait for anything already knows this.

Exhibit A:

Yeah, he kinda looked like this...

Secondly, the whole thing about this kid wanting to go home...NOW! Ok, WTF?! Are you serious?! Who the hell is this kid to be making demands of anyone that they do what he wants right now?! I'll slap the dumbass off you if you ever come at me like that!! Demanding that we get out of line and that I forget putting my paycheck in the bank so I can pay bills and keep that pile of broken up toys in the corner in your room apparently is unimportant to you, so long as you can go back home and annoy the hell out of me there! I sure hope his parents put his ass on some Ritalin or some shit to calm his blockheaded ass down! Really folks, do I need to say any more about this??? It's ok, I'm calm again...really...seriously...

I'm going to personally make a call to arms to all parents that you better start learning to control your kids asap, or in 20 years, you'll be bailing your kids out of jail, or under a Republican government, watching them get lethal injection.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Reality Shows

I'm letting be known now that I am not a fan of most reality shows, Reality shows even have a designated showing night: Wednesday nights. They are not reality because they have scripts; have you ever seen somebody do something real like get killed on a reality show? Ever?

Here's a listing of the following types of people that are typically cast for these shows:

  • The intelligent one
  • The sensible one
  • The crazy one (AKA the Attention Whore)
  • The general Whore
  • The Introvert
  • The Extrovert
  • The Gay guy (or girl)
  • The Traditionalist (the anti-gay guy or girl)
Lastly, but certainly not least, the Token Black Guy/Girl!

Exhibit A:

This is one of several types of people usually cast on reality shows. Try to guess which type this one is!

When casting for most any reality show, people with these personality types are a must and are added so they can not only make sure the show's producers get more representation of what the population is, but to guarantee conflict on every airing, and thusly, high ratings.

There are many different kinds of reality shows, but since Survivor is one of the more popular ones, I call every type of show a "Survivor" show, much like when somebody calls an suv a "Jeep" (Jeeps is a name of an automotive manufacturer). For example:

  • Big Brother (An inside a house "Survivor")
  • The Simple Life (An attention whore, fly on the wall "Survivor")
  • Deadliest Catch (Professional activities "Survivor")
  • Real Chance of Love (Elimination/Game Show "Survivor")
  • I love New York (Dating based competition "Survivor")
  • America's Next Top Model (Job Search "Survivor")
  • The Contender (Sports (boxing) "Survivor")
  • The Biggest Loser (Self Improvement (Makeover) "Survivor")
  • Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (House Renovation "Survivor")
  • Wife Swap (A Social Experiment "Survivor")

My biggest complaint, aside from the lack of true reality, scripted as these shows are, is that these shows are all the same and there's nothing that differentiates the shows. Also, there are too damn many of these shows, but I guess if people didn't watch, there wouldn't be these studio execs giving birth to more abortions of this kind on TV. Oh well...

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Rappers (The Music Genre and Industry In General)

It's not that I hate rap like Bill O' Reilly does, but I just have a serious beef with today's rap, such as it is. For one thing, I'm biased against almost any rapper that:
  • Doesn't give back to the communities that put them on
  • Have at least 3 songs on the radio in heavy rotation daily
  • Show up late for concerts and give half assed performances
  • That comes from the South (UGK and Outkast among notable exceptions)
  • Calls me out as a hater because I don't celebrate the obscenely large contracts they don't deserve
  • Don't rap about anything with a cogent message, like "don't do drugs" or "you can be whatever you want to be in life" or something like that
Exhibit A:

A message that rappers these days let arcade games like Final Fight beat them to

I'll address each of these points in turn. Dudes forget where they came from and ignore folks who helped them in their times of need, and hate being reminded that they weren't always on top. They demand you buy their albums so they can tell you that you suck because you're not a millionaire like they are and hate on them because they're better than regular people. If I wanted to be belittled, I'd get a drill sargeant to shout at me while I work out!

They let people know they couldn't be any less interested in remembering who got them where they are. get pissed and act diva-like when a fan asks for even a fraction of their time for an autograph or pose for a pic that the person will remember forever. They show up mad late and severely underperform at their overpriced concerts. Never mind that they have up to 3 songs in heavy rotation on the radio every day after getting it in on the mic; the rapper(s) then get a swelled head and can't seem to handle it. Remember what the Good Book says about pride?

According to most every rap artists these days, they stay getting hated on. The thing that they don't seem to get is that when you flash money and (rented) jewelery in every video you've done or been in, and you're not sharing some of it, people are gonna ignore you! in the words of another "old school" song, "if you ain't sharin', people ain't carin'"

Hip Hop is currently owned by the South, for whatever reason. It would seem that after B.I.G. and 'Pac died, there's been a regional power vacuum left and the south, starting in 1999 took over and this massive influx of hip-POP took over and rap as an art form has been in the shitter since. It's no longer about GOOD music that adds to the reasons people should love and embrace hip hop; it's about making music based mostly on the big assed females in the clubs that include made up words, half-assed lyrics, a catchy hook, and a beat females (typically ghetto-bred, in the age range of 16-29) can dance to. How very sad...

Exhibit B:

The formula for success in "Hip Hop" these days...

The state of Hip Hop is bad right now to say the very least. The other day, I was watching "106 & Park" and when they had their "old school joint of the day", it was the song "Bad Boy For Life"; the album the song's featured on came out in 2001! How's that "old school"?!

I know the "old" heads remember back in the day when there wasn't a single rapper that sucked and whose music didn't have a positive message other than "it's good to be rich?" Not even close to that right now. Nas was right; Hip hop is dead! But to let Souljah Boy tell it, Nas himself was the one who killed it and not him! I weep for the future of this art form if the East and West Coasts, combined with revolutionary artists can't bring it back from the dead...

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Monday, June 8, 2009

Dr. Phil

I should mention before I go on that the only reason I'm even aware of this paradigm is because I have mad free time on my hands, due to being laid off; I'm looking for a job even as I type this, so I'll either have a job soon, or another reason to hang myself...

Yeah, I know this show is only for females and especially stay-at-home moms so I get that his show tilts heavily in the favor of female viewers, but I get the feeling that Dr. Phil McGraw is not at all a man's man. Here you have a psychologist (I...guess he is, I don't know?) that is supposed to tell people how to change their lives, empower (almost entirely) women and such, but when a couple appears on his show all you ever see is a guy immediately siding with the wife. It's like men don't have feelings, problems, etc.

Exhibit A:

The way Dr. Phil rips into every male guest would have you think that this is normal in any male-female relationship

Dr Phil is, for all intents and purposes, a puppet. On a show that came on last week (I believe it was about males obsessed with video games), while showing off his World of Warcraft-like character, he said he could be free of Robin (his wife) and not have to listen to her. If this is but a glimpse into what marriage and married life is like, not thanks, I'll stay away from females bearing leashes, thanks. I'm not too interested in letting another human being tell me what to do for the rest of my life

Exhibit B:

What goes on in Dr. Phil's and Robin's marriage, which translates into this on the show

I have yet to ever see a show where men get shown some love. I've never seen a show yet where men get to cry and stop being a sexually insatiable beast, upon whom women can blame their terrible lives, and where they get to vent for a change, or a show about how to understand your man, or even men seeking custody of kids they have to pay child support for, but never get to see or some shit like that; what you get what essentially amounts to an hour-long slice of the Lifetime Movie Network ("I Hate Men" channel) for NBC

Exhibit C:

What the Dr. Phil Show really is

I went to their website and I see they have a link for games...oh boy, I wonder what kinda games they have, "bash-the-evil-male-rapist-because-he-reacted-the-way-men-do-when-cleavage-is-flashed-and-I-was-really-slutty-that-night-but-decided-to-be-a-cocktease", or "no-means-no-even-if-we-get-into-bed-nekkid-and-I-decide-to-change-my-mind-at-the-last-possible-second?"

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Confederate Flag

For reasons that should be obvious, the Confederate Flag induces varying negative responses within me from mild irritation to outrage to causing me to contemplate stabbing its supporter/wearer. It's maddening because even though these people say it's only about "southern pride" (which they never explain what that is when asked), you'll see this flag flying high at every Klan rally and ever white supremacist gathering.

According to pretty much every history text book anywhere, the South not only lost, but got their collective asses handed to them as well. But don't mention things like facts and logic to these folks; it's all about "pride", pride in being a loser. In most competitions, including history, the losers are never mentioned again; just the winners. Who knows? it could be just that only the winners get to write history or something, but whatever...

Exhibit A:

This is what denial can lead to...

Usually hillbillies, rednecks and racists in general, those who use the southern pride excuse vote Republican, a well-known enemy of blacks and other non-whites. Even though they're not racists and believe in God and the Constitution (all men are created equal and endowed with certain rights by their Creator), they view anybody non-white as inferior and as animals; again, forget about arguing logic and reason with them, despite the fact that as "animals", black as well as other non-white people should not be able to talk like white people can, and never mind the fact that typical southern whites don't have a command of the English language.

Exhibit B:

What those who support the rebel flag say it means...

Exhibit C:

What black people know it to really mean...

A while back, while being forced to drive to a gas station in McRacistTown (Beaverdam, VA), I saw a bumper sticker that said something to the effect of "I'll keep my guns and you can keep the CHANGE", an obvious shot at our first BLACK president. As you might expect, the mud encased truck that this hateful sticker was found on had a confederate flag on it as well as a camouflage paint job, big body lift, extra large tires and dual exhaust.

Exhibit D:

Yeah, the truck looked something like this...

I've long since given up listening to the southern pride's point of view, as I hate having the smell of lies and beer breath blown into my face. I don't listen to those who say Mr. President will take away their guns. It's in the Constitution (the right to bear arms); even if he had that much power, I don't think Barack Obama would change anything about it, since this country was founded on its principles. Damn! There's that damn pesky logic again!

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Friday, May 22, 2009

White People Who Speak Street

Folks, there are some people (usually white) who think that when speaking to urban (usually black) people, they need to:

  • Feel a sense of pride for conquering a challenge of trying to learn a new "language", one old-ass slang word at a time
  • Constantly prove that they're "down" by saying phrases that made their debut in the (early) 1990's, yet use perfect enunciation to make the words have less effect when spoken and sound more like a tight-ass white man from the 'burbs than a homie from around the way
  • Use Ebonics to become smug in their arrogance as now they can perpetrate like they're better able to speak to those common foul-mouthed ruffians (Lol yeah I said it) should others have need of a translator and cops aren't available

I'll chop each of these down one by one, but first things first. Normally, these seriously out-of-touch people are usually white. Typically, they vote Republican. They like things such as Yoga, Ciabatta sandwiches, and helping the less fortunate, meaning minorities, though they never actually go down to the shelters to volunteer. They are the most smug people ever. Lemme give these folks some words of advice: if you want to conquer a challenge, try living as black people live and see how long it takes you to become embarrassed at how Caucasian (as well as Asians, the new racists) people treat and/or see black people. You'd be the man for real for seeing things how we do every day!

Exhibit A:

What the typical street-wise white person looks like. You did get that bit of sarcasm, didn't you??

The thing about speaking street is that there are subtleties to the words that are important to remember as far as enunciation. White people promptly ignore this and pronounce it properly, for example, black folks commonly have a grandmother they refer to as "Big Mama". When white people attempt to say it, they say several variations such as:

  • Big Mother
  • Big Mommy
  • Large Mother

When spoken with perfect enunciation, the words will have little to no effect when spoken to blacks except roaring laughter. Please don't forget to say the words the way black people do if you want any credibility or risk about a 10 minute session of laughter courtesy of you.

I would go more into the last bullet point, but the extreme sense of pride people not of the culture has already been covered (and smothered), so I'll forego that one. My point is if you're gonna try to relate to/insult/act superior to me, could you maybe possibly try to use slang from the 2000's? I know Urbandictionary is a great source of more current slang than what you're attempting to use, so check them out, homie!

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Unseemly Employer Practices

It would seem that these days before a person can even get a job but after they apply for it, employers check an applicant's credit score before determining whether they get a job or not. To me, this is not only intrusive, but redundant. I mean, why would I be applying for a job if I didn't have debt? Why would I willingly incur more debt by obtaining things that come with bills if I didn't have to? It's sure a good thing I went to that job fair the other day. This kind of treatment is totally worth the hassle I went though.

Exhibit A:

Thanks to current employers' "strategy" to get the best employees (slaves), these have become harder than a math final to come by...

You have to have some things that require bills in order to establish credit history, which would allow a person to purchase homes, cell phones, automobiles, etc. I have news for employers, the majority (around 90%) of americans, in particular those who are currently out of work, have some amount of debt. Please do not make them out to be some sort of thieves and pickpockets...

Exhibit B:

This is how employers see employees

This begs the question: how exactly does one pay bills if the person can't get a job? It's like they put you in the same category as some master criminal because you have too much debt. This is so very unfair because if I wanted to steal something, I would just do it and probably wouldn't even need any damn credit in the first place. And it has absolutely nothing to do with how well you would perform on any future job either. It's used as sort of a weeding out process, denying a job opportunity to those who have a certain amount of debt. To me, attempting to get a job is the ultimate in taking responsibility for any and all accumulated debt, but what the hell do I know...

At this moment, all over the country, employers are now engaging in more sinister practices in order to weed people out of obtaining employment: checking their (and yours too probably) Facebook, Tagged, and Myspace pages before they determine whether you should get a job. As I understand it, this version of the "process of elimination" is quite illegal for companies to even be doing on any perspective employee. It makes you wonder how companies can get away with checking out potential employees' personal pages if it's sooo illegal...

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Job Fairs

Job fairs are becoming more and more commonplace and more than a few people attend them due to the current state of the country's economy, as job fairs are designed to not only get people back to work, but also to give folks who are currently out of work a little bit of hope to cling to. But no matter how many job fairs you get dressed up to go to, in my view, they’re all a waste of time.

They fill your head with hope, and every single one of them you attend, the representatives there tell you that the companies' applications are only available online, and as such, you can only apply for any job you're trying to get in cyberspace, with little to no regard as to whether you have internet service or not. What this means is that you basically came from all the way across town for nothing! What the hell are the company representatives here for then?! What would be the point of me coming to those things? To find a spouse? I hope they don't think people came all the way down there with resumes in hand just to be told to go back home, get on the computer, and apply online.

Exhibit A:

This is how you start the day...

It gets better though. When people who need a job ASAP get to the job fair only to find out there are never, ever any on-the-spot job interviews, unsurprisingly, they get disgusted and leave. I'm wondering why on-the-spot job interviews are so unheard of? Well, that’s not totally true; technical colleges are on the lookout for more ways to get their paws on your no-money, and the Army booth is always looking for good men (and women), but I bet you didn’t come to a job fair for those things, did you?

Exhibit B:

The booth you'll encounter instead of a job every time you go to a job fair

Let this be a lesson to you, if you decide to go to a job fair, just know you'll not only have your time wasted, but you'll go through all of that only to end up back at your pc doing only what you were doing a few hours earlier. It's rough going folks, but we'll get through this...I hope...

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The EBS (Emergency Broadcast System)

I know you hate this thing, because when there's a good game (or whatever you like to watch) on, the sound goes out, the green bar appears on the screen, and this loud ass siren comes on and it starts telling you places that aren't even near where you live are under a tornado warning.

Exhibit A:

"If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions."

Every time you hear the EBS siren, it turns out to be a false alarm. If there really was an emergency, who would even be able to hear it if their power is out? If they listen by radio and heard the siren, wouldn't they already know there's an emergency if they looked outside and saw trees down everywhere?

Exhibit B:

Would you be able to see this symbol if your power went out during a storm???

And here's my final question: if this system is so useful, where was the EBS the morning of September 11th, 2001?