Scientific Studies

These annoy me like nothing else because many times, my money as a taxpayer is being wasted on something that either I couldn't care less about, has no useful applications in my own life let alone anybody else's, or the results don't help me in any real way. I wonder to myself "what is the point of this study, and why is my money being wasted on it?" I mean, who really orders these to be done?

Exhibit A:

Scientists discover that people with shorter finger digits are more motivated to work out! Yay! What a useful piece of information, and applicable to my everyday life! Best...use of taxpayer money...ever!!!

At one time, there was a study to see the medicinal effects of Marijuana; what was even the point of all that? We can't have it legally anyway.

Awhile back, I read about a study that said white kids on the average, are happier than kids of other races. *gasp* You don't say!

Exhibit B:

My take on this truly ground-breaking and very worthwhile scientific study, bound to redefine the world as we know it:

My money would have been better spent working on a cure for AIDS, better and renewable sources for me to get the hell hole (I mean my job, the ol' fun-arium) or ways to bring the icebergs back so we could stop global warming somehow, but nooo! This was a much better waste of my money! Hurray for scientific study!