Valentine's Day

Yeah y'all knew it was coming, and just in time for Everywhere I go, I see commercials with the happy-ass couples celebrating their love on Valentines (also known as "only-women-should-get-presents") Day. The entire week, the only thing I hear is "This Valentine's Day, let her know how much she means to you. DeBeers." Roughly translated, it sounds a lot like, "honey, if you really love me, you'll financially ruin yourself for me." The lesson seems to be that ungratefulness should be rewarded with expensive combinations of metal and rock. Women hold the trump card here. All commercials are here to henpeck men into getting the women in their lives outrageously-priced gifts to show their love, without any real work on their part.

Exhibit A:



*Wife* "Happy Valentines Day Jason. I love you! "
*Whipped-ass Husband* "And I love you Sarah! Ok, it's your day! Whatever you want!"
*Thinks to himself* I really wish she'd teach that old pussy of hers some new tricks...*Heavy sigh*

I notice that commercials where women get men gifts are absent from the airwaves, however. And the only thing the man might get in return is the same...exact...vagina he's already accustomed to swimming in. It's not tightened up or dressed up any differently or anything like that. In some cases, he'll have to endure the same old head, fully equipped with the same old tricks, nothing to surprise him with! At all! Now I ask, is this fair? I'm not gonna even ask the women because I already know what y'all are gonna say...

Exhibit B:



A Diamond (and/or Sapphire) is forever...at least until her birthday, and your anniversary, and Christmas, and...

But what can a man really do? If he buys into this whole rip-off of a "holiday", he stands to get royally ass-raped for an untold sum of money. But if he doesn't, he could get cut off from the same cookie he had been biting on up to this point, but will stay financially intact...for the moment... Still, I haven't yet heard about what women plan to get their men to show their appreciation, but whatever... Debeers would have you to think that:

Exhibit C:



Apparently...

Well I say screw that, I'm not falling into that trap! My name (many of you should already know what is is by now) means fairness, and now I'm calling that in! If a woman wants me to express my love using a black card, what compensation will I get? Don't make me get like this:

Exhibit D:



That sounds about right...

I hate to be like that but I personally feel I'm worth as much effort as I expect women feel they're worth, so where's my adoration? My diamond rings, me being showered with love? Get that love game up ASAP! Seriously!