The Washington Redskins

You know, I've been a fan of the 'Skins since the Gary Clark days (proof of this is below). I've been a fan through thick and (especially thin), but lately, it seems that the team really just sucks! I can't even begin to tell you all the times they had games within their grasp and they didn't finish and they let the game get away from them. All the times they would mount a comeback but then, an errant pass was intercepted to ice the game.

Exhibit A:



The definition of a true Skins fan. Nobody can tell me I'm not a real fan! I bled maroon and gold even at 3-4 years old!

It seems like every time I would tune in and they were doing well, I would jinx them and then they'd go right in the crapper (again). Hell, when I was watching and they were doing well, the announcers would "backwards jinx" the 'Skins by saying something like "Jason Campbell hasn't thrown an interception in the first 9 games so far", and then on the very next play, "picked off!"; of course then I'd be like "damn!"

This one time when I was still in elementary school, I got so fed up with them losing to the Giants, I just threw up my hands and left the Skins alone for a while; incidentally enough, when I decided to come back, that season, they ended up winning their last Super Bowl in 1992! since then, they haven't gotten past the NFC Divisional round. It's so depressing.

Exhibit B:



How I see the 'Skins many times after they lose and play particularly bad...

It's always the same story: a team that's the 3rd most profitable team in professional sports and yet, they haven't even sniffed the NFC Championship since the 1991 season. Sometimes I wonder if the faith I put in them will ever pay off again...

Exhibit C:



Shame on the Washington Redskins! Making fans have something to look forward to each season only to repay our faith with halfassed efforts each game of each season!

Don't get me wrong, I'll never stray from this team again, as now I know what it really means to be a fan, but it's very depressing to say the very least to see this team with so much potential to start each season only to end up doing absolutely nothing and either losing in the Wild Card round or miss the playoffs entirely. Sometimes, I wonder if the Washington Redskins will have as long a drought as (until the 2004 championship squad) the Boston Red Sox, and the city of Washington D.C. will have a looooong sports championship drought.

(Distant) Family Members & "Friends"

This is one that needed to be written! How many of you have family that you only see when when a family member dies? It's like "who the hell are all you people, and how do you know big mama?" I many times get the feeling that these people (freeloaders?) only came by because they wanted some of that repass food, or they need to borrow some money. Typically, these are the same people who for whatever half-assed excuse they can come up with won't help you, and if the price is high enough, will sell you out at the drop of a hat! Don't think for a minute that your friends wouldn't do the same thing to you!

Exhibit A:



The source of the sharp pain I feel in my back

Story Time!!

Back some 20+ years I believe it was, my sister inadvertently got into some "beef" with people in school, who happened to be family (I guess, i dunno?). Anyway, she said something in confidence to a friend of hers and this friend promptly told this other girl the truth (in a bald-headed lie sorta way), and this girl (and her cousins) were going to confront her, but I jumped in, so they backed off. Years later, I learned this side of the family has had beef with our side of the family for basically eons. They still don't talk to us as readily as they do anyone else, and we see them every sunday in church! In God's house, y'all! Lemme divulge yet another example:

Back on April Fool's Day 1998, a tornado destroyed my aunt and uncle's house, killing both my aunt and my 13-week-old cousin. My uncle went to go check on my grandfather (my grandmother had died in the same home exactly 3 months earlier), and when he went back to check on his wife and son, the house was gone. A few days before the funeral, this other side of our family for the first time ever, came over to our house en masse to express their condolences. I wasn't (and still aren't) at all convinced of their "sincerity". Some of the people who showed up and were supposedly friends of the family, could only comment on how good the chicken was! Unbelievable!

You know what I think? I think that the only reason that they came over was to see if we were as miserable as they'd thought we'd be; something bad finally happened to our side of the family! It's been 11 years since this happened and they haven't interacted much with us at all. Hmmm...

Exhibit B:



My parting message for those who think being this way is ok

Your family and friends are supposed to be some of the only people you can trust in this world to have your back no matter what. You better be careful about who you deal with in this life.

This one time back in 2003, we had a family reunion and my (brand) new 300 dollar cell phone was stolen, here of all places! If you can't trust your family, who the hell are you supposed to be able to trust?!

Celebrities

Ok, I know what you may be thinking: "you're hating on celebs because they got money and you don't!". Yeah, not quite. I'll start this off by naming my beefs with these people, followed by an example. By the way, my reasons for not feeling many celebrities are the following:

Their terrible mismanagement of newly-accquired wealth. These folks are entitled to buy whatever they wish with the money they "earned", but do you really need to buy an island on the world in Dubai? How about that gold house and rocket car? People starve every day and I think it would be better to help out your fellow man, like Jesus said you should want to do. But what do I know? I'm just a hater and jealous anyway, so whatever...

Exhibit A:



How celebrities act when they become wealthy for the first time

Celebrities' arrogance. Celebs act like we (the "normies") should pay top dollar just to get a glimpse of them doing everyday shit, and if you dare ask for an autograph, you might get assaulted, or they'll tell you "I'm not here for that", or keep walking after staring at you like you're crazy! Nevermind that the fans are the reason they can afford to look down their noses at us normal people. Even the broken-down, has-been actors(esses) have the nerve to get on that "act-like-a-diva" shit! They demand privacy after making obscene amounts of money in public. You didnt know that being a celebrity had its drawbacks?

This one time my sister went to an Usher concert at the Hampton Coliseum and this gay guy asked for his autograph and he said "I don't sign no autograph for no faggots." Way to treat a guy who paid to see you in concert and waited who the hell knows how long outside to get you to draw chicken scratch on a piece of paper!

Back during the summer of 1989, Leona Helmsley was on trial for tax evasion. Elizabeth Baum, one of helmsley's former housekeepers, testified to her legendary meanness and her arrogance, saying while she was on the witness stand: "I said, 'You must pay a lot of taxes'. She said: 'We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.'" Another of her former employees testified at the trial recalling how she casually fired him during her being fitted for a dress! Geez, what a bitch!

Constantly staying in trouble with the law. Celebrities really seem to believe that now that they're paid they're above the law, so at least once a month, you'll hear something about them running amok, doing some thing from speeding, to not paying taxes, to assaulting folks for taking their picture. Then when they have to go to jail, they whine, moan, bitch and complain about having to do house arrest! WTF?! If regular people did half of the things that celebrities do, they would be locked under the jail! That's justice, huh?

Halle Berry was involved in a car accident in February of 2000. She suffered a concussion, but left the scene before the police showed up, resulting in her getting a misdemeanor charge. She stated she felt "really good about the resolution". She pled no contest, paid a fine, was placed on three years' probation, and that was the end of that. Would that have happened if a normal person did that?

My point is: that When these people decided to express themselves creatively (and for profit), they had to know that this would be one of the prices they would have to pay for fame, didn't they? Who goes into show biz thinking they're going to get all our money and we're not gonna be trying to see who it's going to?

It might be a good thing I'm not rich; I might show these people how to behave like a human being! We can't have celebrities acting like decent human beings, now can we?